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Newsletter 3 Letters

Here are the letters students have submitted along with our replies:

Letter One

Editors reply:

Hi, thank you for the compliment, and we appreciate that someone has the courtesy to send us such a thoughtful message.

"I do go to one that is not dissimilar and i am very pleased wiht your accurate potryal of all these characters"

Well we try and portray the school we went to as much as possible, so if the school we went to is anything like yours then I'm happy we have something in common.

Thank you, and do come back.

Letter Two

Editors reply:

Everything in that e-mail sounded fine to me, except for the ending:

"yours tony"

If you forgot to add yours sincerely, then I can understand, but if that's how you usually end your letters then you have some issues.

Letter Three

Editors reply:

This is obviously spam, some idiot seems to have found this letter lying around the net, and decided to edit a few things because no one would talk more about homosexuals than someone who is completely obsessed with them.

I'm not going to reply directly to the person who sent this e-mail because I don't even regard him as a human being.

Letter Four

Editors reply:

Thank you, a lot of people liked Sharp Pencil, we will be working on another game similar to sharp pencil at some point, its just that there's a lot of other things in the way.

"I dont want no one emailing me shit"

We never e-mail anyone shit, the only e-mails we send out are to those who subscribe to our newsletters by entering they're e-mail address in the "Interact" section, and believe me those e-mails we send aren't shit.

Whenever anything happens they're the first people to know about it, they know more about what's going on at the HPS website then everyone on the net put together.

If other people who see this message decide to e-mail you shit, (which I don't think has happened), its nothing to do with us, we only display these e-mail addresses to prove the authenticity of these messages.

Letter Five

Editors reply:

I've asked over 20 people to read this e-mail to try and explain to me what this guy is saying, no one had a clue. They were as clueless as I was.

"i did send u an email, u didnt reply... (or post it) was it because ur a fag...?"

You monkey, our site hadn't been updated yet, you're too impatient. By your logic anyone who doesn't display a stupid message such as yours on his website happens to be a "fag".

Now its been posted and I'm replying to it, would you get off my dick already?

"Dont know are you a stereotypical skateboarder that gets \'jacked\' by \'grove man\' commin down from playstation...? "

Comin down from playstation? Bitch who told you I even have a skateboard? Just because I have a website that talks about a school doesn't mean I have a skateboard.

"u lot all smoke, oh drugs in london soooo rebellious tryin to be MEN and connect with the \'townies\' errr u live in a city... i thought u MICE where smart???"

Again who told you I smoke? Who told you we're trying to connect with the townies, bitch.

Just because we all happen to know better English than you doesn't mean we're Mice, or that we smoke.

"i guess thats all u can use in life to defend yourselves when asked the question--> y dont u just fucking kill yourselves???"

Um, no.

"all skaters are FAGGOTS if ur such \'badmans\' come and fuck me up u and all the skater gang"

Blah, blah, blah...

"I happen to be one of those pussio skater fags, and yes i\'m the biggest pussy on road."

I have no idea why you're using so many backslashes, are you trying to tell us something? You seem to like things from the back, backslashes, backshots...

Your attempt to disguise yourself by using unnecessary Capital letters, backslashes, arrows, equal symbols, arrows, subtraction symbols and brackets has led me to suspect that you are someone I know.

And I think I've figured who you are, if you send me another e-mail you'll only confirm my suspicion, the choice is yours.

If you're someone I don't know however, let me tell you if that's really how you write messages you are seriously retarded.

Letter Six

Editors reply:

You're welcome

Letter Seven

Editors reply:

Thanks you so much!

Keep popping back, we're working on new material all the time.

"Talk about quality entertainment! You guys rock! Keep up the good work!"

Thank you so much for those kind words, we do it for people like you.

Letter Eight

Editors reply:

I appreciate what you wrote to begin with, but now you're just acting retarded. Why are you acting like such a monkey?

I hate retards who act sarcastic, at the same time they'll deny it.

You're either being sarcastic or you have a problem with grammar, using the word cool three times in one line.

Learn some proper English, and you've also filled the form incorrectly, it requires your name, you or your bumchums name.

"Me" isn't a name, if it is then its fucked, your parents are fucked for giving you that name.

"that makes me cool. aren't you cool? how cool."

Go fuck yourself.

Letter Nine

Editors reply:

Let me tell you something, anyone who sprays shit on their hand to freeze their skin has shit for brains!

Peeling the skin off? Who is this retard? I've heard of snakes shedding their skin, but someone peeling off his skin?

If this is a dig at someone you know, which it sounds pretty much like that.

Tell that person to seek some urgent counselling!

I like your e-mail address, you got it from that suckdick domain? I'll stick with Hotmail thank you very much.

To send a letter click here to fill in our web form

Holland Parke School News:     Headmaster hopes the chalk thief reveals his identity, he will not punish this individual he just wants to have a friendly chat with him                  Shock as dinner lady is caught excreting in chocolate Ice Cream                      Rabbi Cokh voted sexiest teacher of the year                        Master John Bater mugged outside pizza shop                         No more toilet paper in school toilet, Headmaster says they're being used for masturbation purposes                                Inspectors day on the 16th please could everyone be on their best behaviour so no one could know what a shit school it really is                          Aligator on the loose in the school swimming pool                           The BBC is filiming a documentary near the school entitled "The drugged up ganglord"                      Broken Piano replaced, students are advised not to have sex on Piano again                            Headmaster urges the student who sneezed outside his office at August 23rd to give himself in, anyone with further information please contact reception                  Last chance to hand over school calendars or face a death sentence                            School Main computer room covered in faeces  

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