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MC FAGHIT © (I hit faggots you get it?)
Living death row
“He’s got Uzi’s, he’s got shotguns, he’s got explosives, he’s got access to any kind of weapon he wants within 24 hours.”
-Colin Hal briefing on Henry Thompson (Mc Faghit)
Yes yes!
Aight listen up menz, I’m gonna tell you how things have been going down, it’s been a hectic month with exams and shit, but I’ve been chilling.
I can’t be bothered blad, too much fucking revision to do, so I just said to myself “Fuck this shit!”
I see menz in the library revising and shit, I’m like what’s the point if you’re black like me?
Just give up, there’s no point too much discrimination!
Battymen are going round with a petition to chuck me out of the school.
They’re telling other menz all about my violent crimes.
Bare people were signing that petition, but did I get chucked out? Nah blad, I’ve got too many connections.
Story 4
Violent crimes
Aight, it’s Saturday, I’m chilling at my crib all the sudden someone’s knocking on the door, I was home alone so I got a bora (Knife) and walked slowly to the door.
It was some Jehovah’s Witness people, telling me how I should change my religion and shit.
They asked if they could come in, I said “Gwan”.
The breh’s sat down in my living room getting all comfy and shit.
“Are you Christian, do you believe in the hereafter?” They started chatting.
“Blad I’m Christian, but isn’t your name Jehovah what’s that got to do with me rude boy?” I switched.
“No my name is Mark and the person beside me is John, and what’s your name?” He started asking in a sly way.
“Listen blad, I ain’t got time for this bullshit! If you are Jehovah good for you innit! Why you going down to peoples yards?” I told the breh’s.
“We won’t take anymore of your time sir; we just want to give you these pamphlets you can read through in your spare time. You see in the bible it says that the meek shall inherit the earth, this means that heaven…” He chatted.
“Oi blad shut the fuck up! I know that shit already I’m asking you why are you coming down to my yard and telling me to become Jehovah? I’m telling you it’s a fucking wind up! And what the fuck is this shit you want me to read it’s like 100 pages long blad! Are you being cheeky? ”
“No we’re not being cheeky, we’re just here to educate not aggravate, do you have a bible?” The breh kept chatting.
“Oi blad listen the fuck up!” I pointed my bora at him. “Yeah G what you gonna do now G?” The breh’s were shook.
“Please, we’ll leave quietly” he said.
“Nah blad, I need to take my revenge, put your hands on the floor!” I Switched.
The breh’s put their hands on the floor and I grabbed one of the breh’s feet and lifted them up to my waist and we started to have a wheelbarrow race.
Rah that shit was heavy.
I told the breh’s to duss, you get me, because I had a date with this proper tick yeti.
Her name is Amelia, blad this girl has her butt hole pierced I’m telling you she is buff, her face is brass but all I’m interested is in the body. Bo!
We sat down in my dad’s car and I was moving to her, blad I was on it! I kept chirpsing her up.
“Oh, I bet you have a shaved pussy? Is it man? Let me see!” I was asking.
“Your true colour’s have finally come out Henry, that’s it never call me again” She chatted.
The hoe started to walk away, I pulled out my gun and aimed it at her ghetto style and said “listen you better fucking suck my dick!”
She started sucking me off, and I kept pointing the gun at her head shouting “suck it harder! Yeah that’s right! Daddies little girl”
When she found out the gun was a water pistol she switched!
Blad I have so many violent crimes! When I went home that day my dad got a letter saying that I have been expelled from HPS because bare people signed a fucking petition to chuck me out!
It was all because of my violent crimes.
I started shouting at my dad because I was expelled.
So I thought to myself that’s it, Monday wake up early and shit, head down there on my J’s (by myself) and make a hole in Mr. Hal’s head. Or I could treat him like Ariel Sharon and give him a bribe, if that doesn’t work I’ll just resort to violence.
It was Monday and my eyes were red I didn’t get any sleep, it was 6 am, and I was arming myself for combat.
When I arrived at the school gates I saw some dopey motherfucker they brought as the new gates keeper instead of the old one, just because he asked for a pay rise of 50p!
“Do you have permission to be here” he chatted.
“Fuck no!” I said and bitch slapped him out of my way.
I took out my bora and walked into reception there was no one there.
I walked inside Mr. Hal’s office and saw him holding a video camera and recording Master John Bater sucking his dick!
“This is why I made you deputy head! If I licked your pussy would you suck my dick?” He said.
When I saw that shit I grabbed the camera and told the guy blad if you don’t put me back in HPS I’m going to send this tape to all the people in this school, you get me!
The breh was blackout! He didn’t even know I was there.
After that I thought about celebrating, so I went to this breh’s party uninvited, they were too scared to chuck me out.
The breh holding the party was ‘Mike Wilcock’, he was holding it in his house, I told the breh to get off me, and I walked inside his house.
The party was so dry, but then I saw this tick yeti marinating in the corner, and the best thing, she was drunk.
I chatted her up a bit and then I started doing her from behind.
Then all the sudden that Mike Wilcock guy walks in.
“Hey wait a minute that’s my girlfriend, stop” He said in a pussy voice.
“I don’t care blad I’m woking her down, bo!” I shouted.
“Please for the love of God stop” He said while he was crying.
“Go away blad!” I said.
The breh started crying, I felt sorry for him, after I finished I told the guy “Oi blad safe yeah? Sorry about that man, I just haven’t banged a girl for ages” I said.
Anyway here’s my conclusion to that story:
Oi blad whats up?
Don’t let me cum all over your face like tomato ketchup!
I hate hoes, who want status,
Damn it man I’ll fuck their anus,
Never try to rinse these rhymes,
Blad who do you think is behind all the violent crimes?
How dare you say err,
When you see my picture,
Blad your mum’s Oxfam’s best customer!
Telling me I’m homeless,
Yes,
That’s why I’m pimping your mum on the street,
I need dough to get a bite to eat.
Blad your mum’s a whore,
This means war!
By the way be nice to your mum,
Don’t be dumb,
I swear if I hear you’ve been upsetting her I’ll have to slap you down!
I’m renowned for laying a smackdown.
Blad I’ll fuck your mum on the floor, like Stan Collymore,
Have her yelling “More, more”.
Your mums a hoe,
Before I came in her face, she screamed “Let it snow!”
Came inside her eyes like candle wax,
And gave her butt a couple smacks,
She’ll be singing Christmas carols and dreaming of a white Christmas.
You see you can’t handle this! Bo!
2003 © Holland Parke School