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Whackest shit on the net
It’s another boring Sunday, and there’s nothing to do, nothing on TV and I’m wishing Friday would come soon.
All the sudden some person confronts me on MSN messenger I don’t even know who the fucker is, and he tells me “Dude your site is whack”.
I ignored him, and he just kept saying the same thing over and over again, so I blocked him.
Then I started to think about what he said, is HPS really that whack?
Could we be the lamest site on the net?
I started browsing to see if there were any sites out there that were lame as hell, and I found so many shit sites I could dedicate about it.
The net is basically full of shit, so I’ve decided to talk about my findings, and show everyone exactly what is whack.
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Fuck U Fuck Me Description: “FuckU-FuckMe(tm) for Windows 95, Windows 98, and Windows NT provides the most complete remote sex solution for the Internet and corporate intranet.”
Why its whack: This site is selling a product that you can have sex with. It’s a device that you fit into a spare hardware unit at the front of your PC. You can have a female unit or a male unit which is obviously a penis shaped object.
Once the system is installed, you can then proceed to have cyber sex with someone else who has the same product and it will reproduce your actions in real time mode to the person you are having sex with on the receiving end.
If you wish to order this item you can check if your system meets its requirements on the specification page. Now I was checking out the FAQ and I laughed all the way through, its just so incredible how sad some people are, one person asked “Will FuckU-FuckMe work with a Firewall?”
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We Shit URL: http://weshit.com Description: “Site dedicated to amazing shits”.
Why its whack: The site starts off with a guy who’s butt is hanging out and there’s a caption above it which reads “A beautiful setting for a shit in Scotland (June 1993)”. And below that there’s a picture of someone’s turd, the site is basically complete shit. It has links to other sites such as “ratemypoo” and other websites that are all to do with shit.
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Cliffardo the retardo's homepage URL: http://www.angelfire.com/wa/ckiser/index.html Description: About a guy who eats his own shit
Why its whack: Man is this site lame, not only is the site one page long but its one of the most whackest sites on the net. The person on the site talks about how he wondered what his own shit would taste like, and one day he ate his own shit. |
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The Raelian Revolution Url: http://www.rael.org Description: “…the world's largest Atheist, non-profit UFO related organisation - over 60,000 members in 90 countries - working towards the first embassy to welcome people from space…”
It turns out some outer space alien with a goatee created life on earth by using DNA. They’re currently receiving donations to build an embassy for the aliens who were responsible for creating us, if we don’t build them an embassy they won’t come.
Not only does the site contain a lot of blasphemous nonsense they’re leader claims that the Virgin Mary was impregnated by aliens, and Jesus was half alien half human. They’re leader also declares that Jesus walked on water using an “anti gravity beam”. The leaders name is “Rael” who claims he was abducted by aliens who told him all this bullshit. He’s French, I don’t think we should hold that against him, but he’s one whack motherfucker! |
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The Unofficial Burger King Homepage! Url: http://members.tripod.com/~lisab/bkhomepage.html Description: “This page contains links to all kinds of information relevant to Burger King fanatics!”
Why its whack: All you have to do is check out this site for yourself to see how whack it is, you can tell by the name, the person who runs the site must be an overweight ape. |
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RUN DUDE RUN Url: http://www.expage.com/page/runduderun Description: I have no fucking idea what this site is about!
Why its whack: Man this site is so annoying, if you have your speakers on you’ll hear some irritating music, its as if the main purpose of this site is to piss people off. If you happen to go on the site I would appreciate it if you explain to me what its about, if you’re the owner of the site I would be happy to give you a gun so you can end your life! |
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Children of the corn fanpage Url: http://www.angelfire.com/tn/cotcfanpage Description: Fan page for the movie “children of the corn”
Why its whack:
The site seems pretty ok when you look at it, its colourful and grabs your
attention.
It’s just the person who’s responsible for making the site I have issues with, he’s just a total retard, it should be a crime to let a retard like him make a webpage. You can click on a film in the series to get a review of it, I found him to be very dim when he tried to put across his opinion.
This is his exact words as to why he liked Children of the corn:
“Great movie, I loved this one, but it was to short. The plot and summery seemed well and good, the chracters were awesomely great!! In all, I give this 4 stars.”
Powerful review, I must say, I’ll excuse his obvious spelling mistakes, but what the fuck is “awesomely great”? And who is he to give out 4 stars? I was reading this and thinking to myself “Dude go fuck yourself!” |
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Spiderman Dedication Site
Description: A shite website dedicated to the comic book hero ‘Spiderman’
Why its whack: This site is complete rubbish, you won’t understand a thing that’s being said, maybe because there are way too many spelling mistakes. You should see the illustrations; they look like a lot of things except for Spiderman.
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It’s a trap Description: One of the lamest shitest webpages on the net!
Why its whack: Plain and simple, as soon as the web page opens up the text “It’s a trap” is displayed and those exact words are uttered endlessly. Complete fucking shit! I’m amazed at how someone can actually buy a domain just so he can display three simple words. |
Conclusion:
The internet is like that
Open Mic Competition, a mountain of shit.
Before you claim this site is lame ever again look at what else the internet has to offer.
And even if this site is lame you can count on one thing, we’ll never try to sell you T-shirts or Dildo’s, and remember this site is totally free.
If you don’t like this site go elsewhere, otherwise don’t bitch, I mean I’m all up for freedom of speech, but just don’t say things that will get you slapped.
2003 © Holland Parke School
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